Hey Reader,
This morning I went for a run with my 4y/o son (he rode his bike alongside me)
He's still learning the art of balance, steering, pedalling, and putting it all together without training wheels... so as you can imagine, the ride/run wasn't as smooth sailing as we might have hoped.
In certain moments, he would fully relax, pedal consistently, and get the hang of it with ease...
We'd gain some momentum, feel the breeze in our hair, and at one point, he even started singing "the ants go marching one-by-one, hurrah, hurrah"...
But then, something would scare him
a little wobble,
or someone incoming on the path up ahead,
or a slight bump in the road..
he'd clench up
lose balance
and brake HARD... like the most important thing in his life was to get the fk off that bike.
This went on for the whole 3.5kms (go lil dude, huge effort)
about halfway into the ride, we came to a tricky corner... an 's-bend' that snaked through some trees and bushes.
and I watched it all happen scene by scene, in slow motion (literally)
Him freaking out about the oncoming challenge
Halting to an almost stop
losing all balance
and ending up exactly where he didn't want to be...
off road, heading toward the tree.
And I thought, holy shizzballz... I get it!
He's not struggling with a lack of skills, or talent, or ability
He's struggling with focus.
He's accidentally imagining a reality he DOESN'T want... and as a result of his incredible imagination, and laser focus - he's moved toward precisely what he was concentrating on.
in other words...
HE WAS ALLOCATING EVERY OUNCE OF HIS FOCUS INTO NOT HITTING THE TREE, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT MADE HIM HIT THE TREE!!
And we're all bloody doing this!
When we focus on something, we move toward it.
Even if that thing is what we DON'T want.
Because your brain and body can't tell the difference between what you DO and DON'T want. It simply follows the focus.
(don't think about the pink elephant...)
Case in point.
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There's one athlete in particular who this story reminds me of...
A few months ago, they walked through my doors after having competed at their debut Commonwealth Games.
The Games didn't go the way they'd hoped, and they KNEW it wasn't a physical issue.
In their words... "I manifested exactly what I didn't want."
I asked them what was running through their mind right before they competed.
It wasn't: "I've done the work" or "I trust my body" or "it's go time, you've bloody got this!!"
It was: "don't fail, don't bomb, don't fk this up"
Every ounce of focus allocated to the thing they didn't want. And their body followed through - doing exactly what it was told.
Same tree, different bark...
They didn't fall short because they weren't strong enough.
Or because they didn't work hard enough.
Or because they didn't want it badly enough.
they fell short because the instructions their body heard on the start line was "fail".
THEN when the failure happened, just as they had planned it would...
Their beautiful brain took that on board as "proof I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes... I can't do this"
This happens ALL. THE. TIME with high performing athletes.
They're killing it in training.
Getting PBs.
Every sign is pointing in the right direction.
But in the real moments... the moments where it counts the MOST... pressure rolls in, and the mind grabs onto "don't fail, don't mess this up, don't let everyone down..."
The body steers straight for the thing they don't want, then they wind up losing trust in their true potential.
Sound familiar?
Here's the thing my son is still learning to master... and you can learn master it too.
Keep your eyes on the direction you want to go, and stop focusing on the bloody tree.
In one session with that same Comm Games athlete, we found the 'tree', and turned their focus back to what they ACTUALLY WANT TO ACHIEVE.
Then when I asked them: what does the greatest version of you believe is possible?
They said, "I can do anything i put my mind to, and i do have what it takes."
No hesitation. No doubt in their voice. No pressure to prove their worth.
Just pure focus and belief on the path ahead.
This is exactly what we do inside a Breakthrough Session.
It's 60 - 90 minutes in the room with me.
We find where your focus is being allocated right now (typically this requires some deep diving into the old stories you can't see from the inside)
And then we reroute that focus to the path ahead: the greatest version of you, your big goals, and unshakeable self belief to match them.
You'll leave with a clear picture of what's been running the show, and a personalised plan to work through before your next big event.
Keep shining bright,
x
Shannon
P.S. Not ready to book? DM me on IG @shannonmalseed and tell me your 'tree'. The thing you catch yourself focusing on right before it counts. I read every one.