Story time (expand to read…)
Back in 2018 I became a first-year pro and newly crowned Aussie National Champion.
Nothing screams pressure to perform quite like crossing the line first in January, and wearing the green and gold stripes for your debut pro season in Europe.
On paper, I was stoked to finally be doing the thing I'd dreamt of for years… but for some reason, the feelings I promised myself I would feel (unshakeable confidence, happiness, fulfilment) never really showed up. Instead, the insecurities I promised myself would magically disappear after I won, just got louder.
"A lot of people are looking at you now… What if you fail? What will they think of you? You have to prove you're worthy."
I carried that insurmountable pressure into the season, suffered through the Spring Classics (March), held on for Commonwealth Games (April), produced some incredibly unfavourable results in June and July, completely burnt out by August, and begged to go home in September.
Somehow, I'd entered the year winning the biggest race of my life… and rather than making things easier for me, it just made everything feel heavier.
It took me years to understand what was actually going on. And in the next few pages, I'm going to give you everything I wish I knew back then.